porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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