im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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