hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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