Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
