people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
