You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am available for nakedness
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
