so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
