kristin has been a bad kristin
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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