my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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