Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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