He disabled his match.com account in front of me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
