i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
