just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This house was built for laser tag.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
