Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
