Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
