Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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