I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
