butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
