Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize