Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
