if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize