Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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