He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's official drugs can't kill me
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
