I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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