I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
