Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
