How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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