i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
