worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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