after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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