Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
someone owes me an orgasm
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
