So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
