No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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