This dress was meant to end up on your floor
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
