nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
