And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
