there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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