Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize