i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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