yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
