i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize