Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
