I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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