Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
