Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
