Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
