I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
