worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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