I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
