My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
