I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
