she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
