This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
