He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
