we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
