Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
