i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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